The Apprentice – UK

This is the Have fun with this comedy soundboard system! Remortgage your house, or first time buyer. The Apprentice is a television programme, first aired in the UK in 2005. It is derived from the original United States version of the show with the same name and stars Sir Alan Sugar instead of Donald Trump who stars in the US original. Make money working from home. Nowadays you can make money from home even without working. How you may ask? Well, JourPokerLigne has all you need to get you started on your gambling journey and help you gather up the knowledge you need to get those hefty payouts. This legal online casino has an impressive number of games for you to choose from, so your experience should never be repetitive.

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A bunch of women Alexa Alexa Anything else you’ve got to say chaps? Music As you know You’ve got a big task on your hands coming up Buying is one of the most important things Clear off Gentlemen Good morning I’m going to try something very very different I’m really angry I’m very concerned about you being a bit weak Is that right? I’ve booked two tables, I’m going there with my family I’ve heard nothing from you I wanna know why I want one of you I want one of you Ladies Lets get to the calculations then, do ’em Loss Mannie Mannie Move over to the boys team Move over to the girls team Nick Not a good answer Now I’ve arranged for you, two marquees in pole position Off you go OK One of you is going to get fired On top of that, you’ve got five men you’ve gotta organise Piss my money up the wall Quite frankly, I’d like to get rid of the bleeding three of you Right Right OK Run the girls team That’s a first That’s a first chaps That’s what its all about That team that doesn’t is going to lose, and in that losing team, one of you will get fired The team that makes the most amount of profit is going to win This was a flawed project This week there is the Thames festival To put themselves forward To put yourself forward To run the boys team We’ll be dealing with that later What about you What do you feel? What I’m gonna do What it is When did the penny drop, it seems it still hasn’t bloody dropped, when did the penny drop? Why should I keep you here You’re a lightweight You’re fired You’re fired (2) You’re staying You said you wanted to prove to me that you could be a team leader You spoke up for yourself You think you’ve done a good job? You’ve got your chance now Ruth Ansel Jo

The Apprentice is a television programme, first aired in the UK in 2005. It is derived from the original United States version of the show with the same name and stars Sir Alan Sugar instead of Donald Trump who stars in the US original. Make money working from home. The first series aired in 2005; it ran for twelve episodes and was produced by the BBC and shown on BBC TWO in the United Kingdom on Wednesday nights at 9:00pm. As of February 2006, a second series is currently being broadcast in the same timeslot. An e-book describing the first series has been published. Contents [hide] * 1 The Boss * 2 The Board o 2.1 Nick Hewer o 2.2 Margaret Mountford * 3 Series One * 4 Series Two * 5 Quotes * 6 External links [edit] The Boss In both series produced to date, Sir Alan Sugar has taken the role as the boss. Sir Alan is portrayed as responsible for every firing and hiring, and as the designer of the teams’ tasks each week. [edit] The Board Nick Hewer and Margaret Mountford are the two members of the Board in The Apprentice. along with the boss Sir Alan Sugar. Nick and Margaret were also Sir Alan’s advisers and follow each team every week during their tasks. [edit] Nick Hewer Nick Hewer is a former Public Relations Officer. He first came across Sir Alan when his company was chosen to represent Amstrad in 1983. Nick’s role was as a PR manager, working with the media and press. He also became an integral part of Amstrad’s company management. [edit] Margaret Mountford Margaret Mountford has worked with Sir Alan Sugar for over 20 years, as one of his main advisors. A former solicitor, she met Sir Alan while doing his legal work for Amstrad’s flotation on the Stock Exchange. She retired in 1999 and started at Amstrad as a non-executive Director. [edit] Series One Main article: The Apprentice (UK series 1) The first series of the UK’s version of The Apprentice television programme aired in 2005. It lasted for twelve episodes and was produced by the BBC and shown on BBC TWO in the United Kingdom on Wednesday nights at 9:00pm. [edit] Series Two Main article: The Apprentice (UK series 2) The second series of The Apprentice began airing on 22nd February 2006, on BBC Two. Sir Alan Sugar continues to serve as the boss where he assigns the teams specifically designed tasks. Nick Hewer and Margaret Mountford also return as Sugar’s advisers and observe the teams in action. [edit] Quotes Sir Alan Sugar: “You’re fired.” Sir Alan Sugar: “You seem to have gone from anchor to wanker.” Sir Alan Sugar: “I just don’t know whether you’re some sort of nutter.” Sir Alan Sugar: “Never ever try to under-estimate me because you will be making a fatal, fatal error. I don’t like liars, I don’t like cheats. I don’t like bullshitters, I don’t like schmoozers, I don’t like arse-lickers.” Sir Alan Sugar: “Fair? The only fair you’re gonna get is your bloody train fare!” Sir Alan Sugar: “My Style is Dry Biscuit!”

George W. Bush

This is the George W Bush soundboard, perfect for crank calls!

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I’m absolutely adamantly opposed to that Do it, and do it well And that’s the truth But why Damn the consequences Don’t mess with Texas Don’t touch it Touch it And email your old dad once in a while will ya? Er Everybody loves you and so do I George W Get me the pen Drugs and alcohol Good morning Good night Good riddance Hear me loud and clear I find it very interesting that when the heat got on, you dug yourself a hole How are you I don’t you to let me down again I um I gave her a white hair I guess my answer to that is…. I hope you’re proud I’m from Texas In other words In return for money In the Whitehouse I see it all the time I talked to my dad It didn’t happen I think its perfectly reasonable Its fuzzy math Its not Just don’t do it again Let me say something Lets come together Not only once, but twice Pardon me Party tonight Make you tell your brother Stewart I talked to Condi and asked her to call Andi I talked to Vice President Chaney Thank you and good evening That is your right That needs to be fixed That’s a fact, that’s a fact That’s a very interesting question The only possible explanation I want you to be on my team Vladimir Putin Why thank ya With nuclear arms and a full arsenal of chemical biological weapons You’ve got the documents Dad Abu Saeif Harvey Pitt

George Walker Bush (born July 6, 1946) is the current President of the United States and former Governor of the State of Texas. A member of the Republican Party, before entering politics he was a businessman in the oil industry and in professional sports, serving as managing general partner of the Texas Rangers baseball team. Bush was elected 46th Governor of Texas in 1994 and served two terms, moving on to win the nomination of the Republican Party in the 2000 presidential election, and defeating Vice President Al Gore of the Democratic Party in a particularly close and controversial general election. In 2001, Bush became the fourth president in U.S. history to take office after losing the popular vote. In 2004, Bush was elected to a second term, defeating Democratic Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts. Bush is a member of a prominent political family; his father, George H. W. Bush, served as U.S. President for four years and as Vice President for eight, his brother Jeb Bush is the current Governor of Florida, and his grandfather, Prescott Bush, was a United States Senator.

Max and Paddy’s Road to Nowhere Soundboard

This is the Max and Paddy… All your favourite clips from Peter Kay’s Max and Paddy Series, make crank phone calls!

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And what’s that supposed to mean? Big Bob’s Bastard Beans Have you got any of those big tellies? I like to think of myself as a bit of a romantic Do We Checkout supervisor… really! Why do you keep buying cheap crap? Bottled in the mountains of Afghanistan? Bollocks Oh aye, we got to get a bit of porn on that for the lads Bit of manners cost nothing Hello Boys Have you got any plasma screens? Good morning anals, good morning Charlie I’ve got a beautiful 22 inch Futaba What we need is a bit of fun and games Erm Eheheheheyeah That’s the thing I cant. Well I can and I cant How dare you How dare you 2 How dare you 3 Ho ho ho Hey He’s a case ain’t he. Crackers that lad I like a girl with special needs Oh no I don’t mean a girl with special needs In a nutshell, you stink You can forget that What’s that This is the front room, that’s my room. Tour over Speaking of arses Oh yes, the old shore leave, batter down the hatches and all that Come here I’ll rip your bastard head off. Paddy has needs! Pleasures of the flesh Max! Smell of perfume wafting across the nostrils Oh you’re on your arse Oh yes here we go ding dang do! Oh yeah Oh Jesus no I am not watching Charlie’s anals like that What we’ll be watching won’t be for the families my friend. Well lets go out dressed as a couple of Nazi’s then, see how far we get. Its like living with a bloody woman

Brian Potter was a glorious sitcom character – stingy, mean-spirited, calculating, excitable, embittered – yet while the lowbrow, downbeat air of northern clubland was palpable, Phoenix Nights was an affectionate rather than patronising take on the subject. The performances were perfectly pitched and the many guest appearances from clubland personalities (either as themselves or in character parts) were excellently judged. Inspired lines and comedy moments abounded from first scene to last. The sum total was another comedy extravaganza for the richly talented Peter Kay, whose stock rose steadily as a result – by the second series both he and Phoenix Nights had become the comedy talk of the town.